And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
