from now on my penis is your penis
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
the condom got lost in my hair
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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