Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
