Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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