Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Randomize
