Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
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