and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Randomize
