I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize