but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
