I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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