Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Randomize
