I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
