that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
