Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize
