and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
