The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize
