"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
