just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
