I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
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