whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize