I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
