Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Randomize
