we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Randomize
