I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
