this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize