they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
