Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
