i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
