Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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