ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
