I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize