Me. At least after what I've been through.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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