$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Randomize
