Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
