my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
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