So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
