guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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