SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Randomize
