just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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