She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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