what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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