do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
