so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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