btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
