nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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