I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
