I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Randomize
