I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
