There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
