Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
