I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
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