capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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