btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
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