That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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