Me. At least after what I've been through.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Randomize
