I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Randomize
