I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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