So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Randomize