this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
