The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
