how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Randomize