I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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