no. you can't hotbox the world.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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