you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
