I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
