She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Randomize
